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"Anger is O.K. when it is managed but costly when it's not."

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Are you often angry?

Are you often frustrated?

Do you regularly tend to overreact?

Do you habitually find a lot to complain about?

Have others been concerned about your anger?

Is it often difficult for you to stand up for yourself?

Is it hard for you to accept that others care about and love you?

Do you feel a more or less constant pressure to prove yourself?

When you get angry, do you stay angry for a long period of time?

Do you usually keep your preferences to yourself, often deferring to what others wants?

If you or your loved ones answered yes to two or more of these questions conerning you, you may want to continue to reading.

Among the many feelings that people experience, anger is often the most complex and confusing. Anger can seems unmanageable in time of change, high stress and frustration. Without managing our anger, it can be a very costly matter in our personal and business lives. Here are some ways:

* Low productivity
* Broken homes
* Loss of job
* Health problems
* Isolation
* Low self esteem
* Hurting people you care for
* Loss of good employees
* Legal costs
* Potential violence
* Death

In order to control or manage anger, we must first understand it. The more we know about our anger, the easier it is to manage it. We can then stop paying the cost of not knowing or understanding anger management. Part of understanding is having access to information. The information needs to be presented clearly and be credible, so the information you are about to get about "Anger" is for real.

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When is Anger a Problem?

When it is too frequent. When daily situations and minor events are making you angry, it's probably happening too often.

When it is too intense. It severely reduces your ability to think clearly and leads to impulsive acts that you later regret.

When it lasts too long. When you make too much of something and relive it over and over in your mind, anger interferes with your work and enjoyment of life.

When it leads to aggression. Anger makes it easier to say or do something that hurts someone when you are at least likely to think through the consequences of your behavior.

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American Psychological Association

Words About Anger

Anger Management in Sobriety

The Angry Self : A Comprehensive Approach to Anger Management by Miriam M. Gottlieb


a FEELING. A natural physiological response to real or perceived injustices.

a tool of SELF-INTIMACY. When you learn to identify and trust your anger, you will be able to understand what you are angry about, the other feelings it may be hiding, and more about yourself as a person.

a NORMAL reaction. It is normal and appropriate response to someone or something we feel angry at.

a way to help us ASSERT ourselves. Appropriatly expressed it helps others understand us, boosts our self-esteem, and a way to assert our boundaries (i.e. protect us).

a HEALTHY release. It takes an enormous amount of energy to hide or stuff our feelings. Stuffing anger may lead to physical ailments, and explosive outbursts.

a way to MOTIVATE ourselves. Feeling angry can motivate us to do things for ourselves and others.

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Anger management - involve several important things:

Learning how not to get angry in the first place.

Keeping anger at moderate level of intensity and expressing it constructively.

Using effective problem-solving strategies to change problem situations.

You must begin by becoming an "expert" about your personal anger reactions.

* What causes me to feel tense or agitated?

* What situations tend to trigger angry reactions?

* What are my beliefs/perceptions about how others should/should not treat me?

* How do I typically express my anger?

* What do I gain/lose from expressing my anger in this fashion?

Anger is a part of life. Our wish for you is to be able to accept the blessing of anger, to listen to its message, and then to let go of it.

Samuel Simmons Consulting * PO Box 6120 * Minneapolis, MN * 55406-0120