Ghandi quote. "Any attempt to impose your will on another is an act of violence".
Domestic violence is intentional emotional and/or physical abuse by a spouse, ex- spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, ex-boyfriend/exgirlfriend, or date.
8 in 1,000 women and 1 in 1000 men age 12 or older experiences a violence perpetrated by current or former partner.
between 1992 and 1996 about 12 in 1000 black women and 8 in 1000 white women experiences a violence perpetrated by current or former partner.
DEFINITIONS OF ABUSE
Broadly defined as the "misuse of power," it is the threat and use of emotional, psychological, and physical harm. The goals of these behaviors is to:
* exploit others for your own benefit
* hurt others
* get them to do things that they don't want to
* get them to do things that aren't good for them
Contributing Factors in
* witnessed as children.
* Sex role stereotypes
* Families shame-based.
Payoffs and Benefits
"letting off steam" or reducing stress, releases endorphin most common payoff is control - Stress and control are connected.
Imbalance of Power
Women and children are not valued; therefore violence toward them is rampant.
When women appear to challenge husbands and society they are punished and/or threatened to reinstate the power imbalance.
All the above is dangerous.
DRAMA COUPLES - may see
* Both have experienced violence growing up
* One or both are co-dependent - needy
* Violence leads to intimacy
* Drugs and alcohol are involed
* They grew in a family full of drama (feels normal).
* They see violence and abuse a part of a relationships
* Low income but not always
* Their a drain on the system
Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse
Institute on Domestic Violence in the African American Community
It's time to let me help you break the cycle.
WHY DO WOMEN STAY
FREQUENCY AND SEVERITY
* The more she is abused, the more likely she is to stay.
* The more she was hit by her parents, the more likely she will stay.
* Mother battered by father.
* No friends or relatives to help her.
* No knowledge of agency or police ability to help.
* Received lack of understanding from friends, relatives, police agency or court in past.
* Learned helplessness.
* Terror of loneliness.
BELIEFS ABOUT MARRIAGE / PARTNERHOOD
* Feels she's responsible for making marriage work (glue).
* Believes battering is a part of marriage.
* Wants children to have a father.
HER BELIEFS ABOUT MAN
* Believes man is all-powerful, can find her anywhere, can help him overcome his problem.
Children Coping Mechanisms
* ACT OUT: maybe to draw fire, relieve tension, or cry for help.
* WITHDRAW: keep a low profile (protection), depression, immobilized by fear.
* OVERACHIEVE: try to be perfect (not making waves) ignore the violence.
* UNDERACHIEVE: hopeless (give up) low self-esteem, shame.
* SCHOOL REFUSAL: stay to protect mom, shame.
* ROLE REVERSAL: caretaking, keep abusive parent pacified, comforting siblings and/or abused parent.
* RUNAWAY: refusing to be helpless, sign of strength.
* NO REACTION: depression, tough exterior (protection).
* ALOOF, SARCASTIC: rigid defenses, learned patterns, abusive, manipulation.
* NIGHTMARES: dealing with fears and tension.
* ATTENTION SEEKING: act out sexually, seeking nurturance.
* TEMPER TANTRUM: tension release, learned patterns.
* BED WETTING: anxiety and fear.